Sometimes I attempt to achieve a settledness in my life, but reality interrupts my plans.
I look around and try to figure a way to make this happen. I fall into a weird pattern. Ironically, I need rest so I work toward that goal. But. the harder I work the further my goal slips away. There is always something more to do. Always something out of alignment. Something always breaks. Someone always disappoints.
The Lord has given me a certain kind of life. In most places of the world, my circumstances would be considered ridiculously rich and comfortable. Yet, I still expend an obscene amount of energy in a fruitless endeavor to avoid every little bump and level all the rough spots.
What an insult to God that His boundless, expansive and pervasive Grace is not enough. What an affront to the Gospel of Christ when I refuse to rest in Him.
All of this exposes me for what I am–an idolator worshiping at the altar of Life-Easy.
My striving after a rest found in something other than the Sovereign Lord (who has ordained my circumstances) is like chasing after the wind. But, it only gets worse. In my anxiousness to secure smooth sailing for myself, I often fail to notice the sinking ships all around me. I am, after all, spoiled and immature.
Forgive me, Lord!
Create in me a grateful heart, first of all. Then, help me to rest even in the struggles and difficulties of life. Allow me to see that You are my only joy and true peace. Let me settle in You, and You alone.
Grant me a holy self-forgetfulness and the ability to look beyond myself with an eye toward offering the hope and help of the Gospel to people around me who labor and struggle alone.
For God alone, O my soul, wait in silence, for my hope is from Him. Psalm 62:5
By His Grace and for the Gospel,
Terrie van Baarsel