Tag Archives: Grandchildren

Open Letter to My Daughter-In-Law

My son and his wife are expecting their first baby the first week of August. This is a letter I read to my daughter-in-law at her recent baby shower.

Dear Sarah,

I’m so excited for you to experience the overwhelming feelings of love and joy that come the first time you cradle your newborn baby in your arms. Mommy love is a powerful thing, all-consuming really, and you will be surprised at the strength of your new-found Mama Bear emotions.

I have no doubt that you will be able to look baby Hunter straight in the eye and avow in all truthfulness, “I will do anything for you.” And you will mean it. Take the bullet? Step in front of a speeding car? Move mountains? No problem. You will stand ready to fight to the death anyone or anything that could bring him harm. But in reality, it is unlikely that you will ever be called to act upon such grand declarations of maternal love. Instead, what you will be asked to do for him is infinitely more difficult.

Your calling will be to love your baby boy like Jesus loves him. And that will entail a million little self-sacrifices, dying again and again to yourself over the course of the rest of your life.

1 Corinthians chapter 13 gives us a picture of what this kind of love looks like.

Love is patient.
Love is kind.
Love does not envy or boast.
It is not arrogant.
It is not rude.
It does not insist on its own way.
It is not irritable or resentful…
It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, and endures all things.

Sarah, you are soon to embark on a grand adventure. You will discover that you are stronger than you ever dared think, physically, emotionally and spiritually. You will develop amazing biceps, acquire lightning-fast reflexes, and hone your ability to do fifty things at once. You will learn to swallow your words, bite your lip, and smile when all you really want to do is lie down and take a nap. You will cultivate the aptitude to laugh at spit-up on your new outfit, wipe runny noses with the inside of your shirt, and become quite adept at changing your baby’s diaper in the cramped back seat of a car. You will also grow in trusting the Lord for the wisdom and help you need to raise your little charge. But just as certain, dear Sarah, motherhood will expose in you weaknesses that you would never have believed possible.

There will come a day when you will respond to your beloved baby with impatience. Believe it or not, you have the capacity to be unkind to him. You will be tempted to envy that other mother who always seems to have it all together (she doesn’t) and on your good days make the prideful assumption that you have it all together. You may rudely interrupt your boy in the middle of a sentence to answer a text or sneak a peek at the book you are trying to read, and you will insist on your own way, not because it is best for him, but more convenient for you.

As the years pass, your sweet boy will find creative ways to irritate you. There will even be times you resent the time and energy it takes to train up a child. There will be moments when the weight of your responsibilities will seem unbearable and any hope of relief, dim. You will question your abilities as a mother and wonder if motherhood is beyond your capacity to endure. And even if you are able to keep all of these wrong responses in check outwardly, your heart will give you away. You will know and the Lord will know. So in light of the magnitude of the task set before us, what are we as mothers to do?

I hope you can see the truth and necessity of what I am about to say:

Sarah, you need Jesus!

Look to the One whose love is perfect in its effect and infinite in scope and run to Him as fast as you can and as often as you can. Run to Him with a grateful heart when things go well and run to Him with a humble heart when things go sideways. And most importantly, run to Him when you fall and be assured that your brokenness is where the Gospel of Christ will prove itself in your life over and over again. It is in the midst of your failures that God’s Grace is most precious and His love most clearly seen.

Jesus is the flawless and most excellent representation of what true love is as described in 1 Corinthians. Jesus will be patient with you. Jesus will be kind. You are His precious daughter and He awaits you with open arms, never with hostility or irritation. Go to Him to receive forgiveness and love and you will see your love for Hunter become a reflection and overflowing of Christ’s love for you.

It’s true that little Hunter will get the best and worst of you and you will get the best and worst of him. Motherhood will bring your richest and most treasured moments and a few you would rather forget. You will laugh and you will cry and work harder than you ever thought possible. But somehow, our good God will take your feeble attempts at motherhood and graciously and patiently teach you what it means to love your child.

Look around you, Sarah. All of these ladies, many of them mothers themselves, love you and are willing to help and pray for you. But remember one thing, God chose you to be Hunter’s mommy and for him to be your son. And, he’s given you the blessing of a strong husband who loves you and is your partner in all of this. This paradigm of family is where you and Josh (and soon little Hunter) will grow in your understanding of how utterly and profoundly you need God’s mercy, wisdom and strength. And believe it, God is faithful who has called you into fellowship with His Son, Jesus Christ our Lord.

You will be a wonderful mother, Sarah! I can’t tell you how thrilled Opa and I are to see all that the Lord has planned for you and your growing family. My prayer is that you will experience no greater joy in life than to hear that your children are walking in the truth.

With much love,

Terrie
(aka Hunter’s Oma)

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A Little Bit of Heaven

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My fourteen-month-old grandson will learn that there are times when play must be set aside for duty. In fact, my ordinary adult concerns usually trump his childish inclination to toss a ball again and again and yet once again or sit outside on the curb to practice our meow sounds and pet the neighbor’s cat.

But, playtime is not a waste of my time nor his. No, these welcome respites from the business of everyday responsibilities are (at least part of) the building blocks of our future relationship. I can tell my grandson that I love him and that I am interested in him, but in the mind of a toddler, actions do speak louder than mere words.

Recently, during one of our playtimes together, I was overcome by the most extraordinary sensation. I felt as if time stood still or was suspended somehow. Of course as soon as I realized what was happening, the moment slipped away. Perhaps my attention was so focused on what we were doing that I became unaware, even if just for a few seconds, of the passage of time.

Thinking about it later, it came to me that my grandson isn’t quite aware yet of how tangled up we are in the constraints of time. He isn’t worried about what comes next or how many minutes have ticked by. He has nothing planned and no to-do list. It’s as if he has all the time in the world…

I long for Heaven where I am positive we won’t experience time in the same way we do here on earth. After all, we will have all of eternity!  If we are freed from the necessity of the clock, imagine the joy of spending an infinitude of moments in the company of fellow saints. Think of the timelessness of our happily-ever-after in the glorious presence of Christ our Lord! What an amazing Inheritance we have in the Gospel!

Could it be that playtime with my grandson is a foretaste of what’s to come? A glimpse of eternity where the urgency of our busy schedules is no more? At the very least, these moments are a gracious gift to this grandmother–a little bit of Heaven on earth.

Your sun shall no more go down, nor your moon withdraw itself; for the LORD will be your everlasting light, and your days of mourning shall be ended.
Isaiah 60:19

By His Grace and for the Gospel,
Terrie van Baarsel


It’s Been Awhile

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My last post here on Gospel Apprentice was in October. It’s been awhile.

For me, writing has always been an outlet. It’s a process I enjoy, even the editing part. In fact, it’s probably the editing part that I enjoy the most. Weird, I know.

I do write almost every day. But, those words are just for me. That’s not to say that my daily musings are profound or mysterious, on the contrary, they are mostly quick notes, thoughts about what Bible verse I happen to be reading or commentary on the day-to-day.

The seasons of our lives bring change, and I am experiencing such a season of change now. For about a year, I’ve been babysitting my beautiful little grandson, and I’ve never felt my age so acutely. On the days I watch my little one, we begin early. By the end of the day, I’m ready for bed by 9 o’clock. Ok, maybe even by 8:30. On my days off, there is housework to do, shopping to be done, errands to run. Even on those days, bedtime can’t come soon enough. And so, as a result, posting on Gospel Apprentice has been put aside.

The main reason I started blogging was so that someday, my children (and now my grandson) would have a record of how the truth of the Gospel worked itself out in the heart and mind of their mother. That reason has not changed. To anyone who reads it, my hope is that this blog will tell the story of an ordinary woman and her very extraordinary Savior. It is to magnify the unfathomable kindness that has been extended to me, a sinner, and to point others to the excellence and beauty of the Gospel of Christ.

I am blessed, albeit exhaustedly so, to write for my children and for our grandson, but also, as we recently discovered, for a new grandchild expected in August by my oldest son and his wife. Praise God!

This morning I got up early and left the house. I am sitting at a local coffee shop as I write this. Last night’s dirty dishes and today’s laundry await my return, but an uninterrupted block of writing time is more important.

I must be more deliberate about making time to write and for the Gospel’s sake, so be it.

So, even to old age and gray hairs, O God, do not forsake me, until I proclaim your might to another generation, your power to all those who come.  Psalm 71:18

By His Grace and for the Gospel,
Terrie van Baarsel


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