Fool That I Am

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The fool has said in his heart, “There is no God.”  Psalm 14:1a

Am I that fool?

At first thought, I would say no. I believe in God, the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. I believe in the Great I Am, the Sovereign Lord and King of the universe. My Heavenly Father who gave His Son that I might live.

I do trust God for my salvation, but how often do I play the fool by failing to trust Him for my here and now? How often do I say the words, “I believe”, but live my life as if God did not exist? How is it that I believe God for a thing as huge and sweeping as life after death, but often fail miserably when it comes to believing Him for today? I fret. I worry. I doubt. Practically speaking, I am a fool.

I’m not quite sure how to get around this. It’s something that I have struggled with all my Christian life. And yet, looking back over my years on this earth, I can see how faithful God has been to me. First, how he plucked me out of darkness and translated me into the kingdom of His glorious light. Then, how He set a fire in my soul and revolutionized my thinking. He has given me hope, forgiveness, and eternal life. My blessings are innumerable. And yet, one of the things I continually fail to do consistently is trust Him.

My pastor is quick to remind us that God takes the trials in our lives and forces them to do good to us. Perhaps this weakness of mine, this penchant for fretfulness, is the part of me that drives me to Him. For where else can a fool obtain wisdom? And, what is there to do with worry but turn it into prayer? Jesus Himself invites us to cast our cares upon Him, proof that He is the Good Shepherd who cares for His sheep. The psalmist reminds us that God knows our frame and that He is mindful that we are but dust. How tender are your mercies, oh Lord!

When my fears overwhelm me
May I submit to God’s will.
Let Truth my sweet refuge be
This, that my God is Good, still!

Again, am I that fool? Perhaps not. Not because of who I am, but because of who He is. His strength perfected in weakness.  Like Peter, let me make the heartfelt confession, “Lord, to whom shall [I] go? You have words of eternal life.”

By His Grace and for the Gospel,
Terrie van Baarsel

Note from Terrie: This will be the last post on Gospel Apprentice until the second week in July. Lord willing, I will return from this short hiatus refreshed and ready to write. God bless you all!

About Terrie van Baarsel


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